Soul Sista/Sister

I wonder why women are soo close to their girlfriends? I wonder if its because As a woman you have an incomparable bond with your best friends. You laugh, you cry, you fight & you shop. When you have really good friends its like you become one spirit, you can read eachother, you know eachothers moods. When I see my bestie theres an automatic feeling of taking a deep breath & exhaling because there are no walls, no bullshit, nothing standing in the way of our thoughts or feelings. We have shared soo much in the course of our friendships. Had soo many experiences, good & bad. Shes seen me be insecure, shes seen me fail & lifted me up when I had no desire or motivation to rise on my own. Its almost as if she owns pieces of me & my life & I hers. You can tell your best friend things you wouldnt even tell your spouse or shrink, she knows all your secrets. Thank you for the inside jokes, the late night binges, the support, but most of all Thank You For Being A Friend, I love you Leah, Brandi, Ashley & MoMo.

Dream Defered?

Ive been talking to my oldest neice alot lately about going back to school. Shes nineteen & I dont want her waisting her life. But she made a very keen observation yesterday that got me thinking alot about my own life path & which direction im moving in. She said You went to school & your still making minimum wage. How could I possibly argue my point because shes right! Ive known people with masters degrees & PHD's that couldnt find work. My position was that education can never be a waste of time because its something youll always have to fall back on. Ive moved from OH to MI to IL. I lived in the big city & tried to make my dreams come true. I went to the best cosmetology school, I have my license in two states & working on a 3rd. I had my own salon in Chicago, small as it was it was still mine. Ive attempted a writing career, singing career & now a career as a stylist & now I am literally back at square one. Its like I dipped my toe in the water, got scared then got it out. I tried but evidently I didnt try hard enough. I was watching a documentary this morning about Selena Gomez, whom I love, even though she is much younger than me & started off in her profession as a child she has soo much ambition & drive & she never stopped, she never gave up. Every time I hit a wall instead of finding a way over under or around it I gave up, walked away & waited to hit the next wall. One of my biggest fears is waisting time. You only live once, you have to get it in now. Im thirty four years old, I came back here to OH to be with my family & for the millionth time I had to rebuild my life. Im already in a pretty ruff financial situation, what if im too old to make another mistake, what if im too broke to take a risk again, what if I hate myself for not trying?