Hold Him Down

I have always been a giver, its just a part of who I am good or bad right or wrong. I think a big part of it stems from the way I was raised. My mom was also a very giving person with a big heart. We knew what it was like to need & have to do without be it shelter, food, transportation, clothes or money. Growing up me my brothers & our mom did without quite often & made the best of what little we had. So now when I know someone that is in need I give without any thought as to what affect it may have on my life, be it time, finances or whatever because I would want someone to do that for me if I were in need & not in a position to do for myself. But when this giving is within the context of a romantic relationship it can cause an issue. Men can quickly mistake your generosity for stupidity & take advantage. My dilemma is what is a respective balance? I don't want to stop giving, especially to my significant other but I also don't want to be trampled on like a door mat & I don't want to change who I am, it makes me feel good to give. I have no problem giving to my man & being there for him but at what point does it get to be too much? I get to a point in a relationship where it seems like I'm the one doing the majority of the giving & I feel slightly cheated. I start to wonder what am I getting out of this, but that thought makes me feel selfish. A relationship shouldn't be tit for tat or some kind of financial & emotional balance sheet or check list. Ideally it should always be give & take. I guess the majority of the men I have dated didn't get the memo on that one : )